mngirl2002's Cancer Blog

October 25, 2007

Today is better...

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.... for me at least. I’m pretty embarrassed by last night’s blog. Apparently once i get depressed it’s a downward spiral. Work was productive today. I’m still a little behind but I am catching up. Now that Kevin’s dad is here I don’t have to worry about picking up Kevin’s mom in the morning and driving her to the hospital before coming in to work. I was in hyperspeed work mode today!

Unfortunately that made me snap at Kevin this morning. He calls me every morning, which is very sweet. But part of the reason he calls me is because he can’t call his parents long distance from the hospital. He calls me so that I can call his parents and ask them to bring this and that, his blackberry, some games, etc. This morning he snapped at me because it took me an hour to return his call. All for nail clippers! He got mad because he couldn’t reach me in time for me to call his parents before they left the apartment. For nail clippers. This was going on while I was trying to get work done. I snapped back at him and he backed off. At this point we both felt bad, but I was on a roll to fix every problem in my life so I told him to ask a nurse for nail clippers—they probably have plenty of those around—or have his mom get one from the student convenience store when she got there. I also told him I was getting him a calling card so that he could call his parents directly. At this point Kevin was thinking more rationally. He suggested he could probably just get his cell phone or give it to his parents so he could call them locally.

Anyways I know this all sounds melodramatic again but just writing about it pisses me off again. I cracked today, which I should have seen coming based on last night’s pathetic blog entry. Unlike yesterday, I liked being at work better than the hospital today.

I’ll have to make sure to apologize for snapping once Kevin feels better. I think Sandy was right. I am stressed and tired. This was bound to happen eventually. I will let Kevin know that he should still ask me for help. I will also talk to him about boundaries because I am not his secretary or maid. Some of you probably think that is harsh but that’s how I feel lately. He has a secretary at work and I really think he’s used to having someone like that on a daily basis. IT’S ANNOYING.

My day was better after the phone call because work was better. Kevin’s day was good too until about the time I arrived in the evening. He became nauseous and feverish again. His body’s still fighting the infection. Feeling depressed, he asked Laurie and me to leave early.

So I am back at work at 9:30pm. And it feels nice. Weird.

Posted on October 25, 2007 at 6:44:44 PM by mngirl2002 ( Today is better..., 1 comment)